Attack of the Too-Mature 8 Year Old Girls

This morning, after a routine visit to the Honda dealer for Aisha Suki's checkup, I decided to stop at the local diner for a little bacon and eggs over coffee and this month's GQ.

Having traveled back and forth to this neck of the woods for several months prior to actually relocating here nearly 7 months ago, I no longer notice or bristle, at least too much, at the typically shitty service offered in most New Jersey eateries.

What I have noticed more and more lately, is a trend of young girls, very young girls, too young to even call pre-teen, really, who dress, talk, and carry themselves as if they are nearly 30.

Today's trip to the diner landed me at the usual table for 1 at the back of the restaurant, and one table away from the 8 year old, Morris County rendition of Sex And The City.

Picture this:
Three young girls making up a stereotypical group of co-hort: the really pretty one, the tomboyishly pretty one who will be gorgeous someday, and the cute but pudgy one.

Upon being seated, they immediately whip out their Razr phones (two silver, one pink), and proceed to take pictures, text message, surf for new ringtones, and utilize each and every one of the games loaded on the phone.

The conversation was fairly innocuous at first: what to order (Pancakes, French Toast?), what are you doing later, wanna go to a movie, or maybe let's just hang downtown. Apparently "John Tucker Must Die" is a must-see.

Unintentionally, I got their attention when my BFF, T, returned a text message, announced by "Genie In A Bottle." All 3 heads snapped my direction, with a cursory once over, leaving me feeling like I was about 13 again, under the assessment of the snotty bitches I grew up with, followed by "OHMYGAWD, I LOVE that song! Don't you LOVE the Razr? Mine's PINK!"

Immediately, I regretted the purchase of my black Razr a year ago, when it was still a $250 phone. Admittedly, I purchased it only because it was a hot looking phone. Sue me.

Then the conversation quickly slanted toward boys.
For example:
- The differences between "dating" a boy rather than "going with" a boy
- When you're a couple, you don't want to go on double dates because it's less fun, and it significantly reduces your opportunities for making out
- You want to make sure that the boy you like is really worth it, because it's so not worth it to waste all your cell minutes on a boy that turns out to be stupid
- When asked "Would you go out with _____?", the answer was, "I don't know if I would go with him, but I might go down on him if he asked."

WHATWHATWHAAAATTTTT????

First of all, apparently today's 8 year olds are far more savvy than I (a 29 year old) at the dating scene. (For those of you who know me, my dating and sexual history is pretty damn full)
Secondly, what the hell are these girls doing contemplating oral sex with a boy?

God forbid should I actually breed children of my own someday, not just as a surrogate for a friend, I hope and pray I have a boy because:

Girls ... scare ... me.

Let me interject a couple of caveats here:
- I grew up in Texas, a buckle in the bible belt, where there are more Baptist and Non-Denominationally Evangelical Ask Me About Jesus Bible Churches on every street corner than there are Starbucks.
- As a result, I am Pro-Choice and Pro-Sex.
- My teenage years, marked by the literal and figurative absence of my parents, were spent essentially being raised by my friends parents, and in the Non-Demoninational Evangelical Ask Me About Jesus Bible Churches my friends attended. It was here that any questions or desires around sex and sexuality were quickly smashed thanks to the endless brainwashing and videos telling us that if we lost our virginity, everyone would know, and you would be shunned. So don't do it till you're married.
- The above scenario lasted until I was about 18, when after much teeth gnashing and wailing over the "wait / don't wait" debate, my boyfriend of a year and a half (a 26 year old virgin) and I decided to move ahead with "don't wait." I've never looked back or regretted it since.
- I thank my parents for having raised my sister and I in an environment where sex was somewhat talked about openly, and honesty rather than mythology was the rule of thumb. They explained the birds and the bees without drilling the "wait / don't wait" awfulness in my head from my early childhood on.
- I believe that parents should be open and honest with children about sex and sexuality, rather than leaving it to church, friends, and the media to misinform.

So, having said that, why do I sound like a conservative Republinazi at overhearing 8 year old girls openly contemplate oral sex?

Because, while it's debatable regarding at what point in a person's development they're physically and emotionally ready to engage in sexual activity with another person, isn't 8 a little young?

I'm all for being secure in your own sexuality, and being free and open with it, so long as it doesn't involve hurting someone else (i.e. rape, molestation, et al). And yes, all people develop their sexuality at different rates. Honestly, I remember being very curious about sex from early on, however, I never acted on it until around Jr High / High School, playing kissyface with a boy here or there. However, what I don't remember from those years are any incidents, like we hear about today, of anyone going down on each other DURING CLASS in the back of a science lab. Seriously, I think my graduating class was more interested in black tar heroin and ecstasy.

Are the girls of the new millennium legitimately evolving in their sexuality faster than previous generations?

Possibly.

More likely, in this blogger's humble opinion, is that the constant bombardment of sex in media, advertising, television and movies is pushing the process along further. Even more likely, is a serious lack of parental involvement to sort through and help their children make sense of the barrage of ideas, themes and images.

Major kudos to enlightened and honest parents like my friends out West, who recently blogged about their desire to continue to be their children's guideposts along life's journey. They're not out to fill their heads with the mythological, scare tactic bullshit they themselves were raised with ... they're only out to be honest with their children, and guide them down a path in life where they'll be happy. And so far, in my opinion, they're three of the most interesting, brilliant, and fairly well-adjusted children who are CHILDREN. The same goes for my nieces, and my friends C&D, who's girls are absolutely fabulous, thanks to absolutely fabulous and honest parents.

Even at 29, being fairly secure in myself and my sexuality, I find it hard not to get sucked into the ever-present ideas we're fed, especially as women, about what's sexy, attractive, how you should look, talk, dress, act ... all in the name of landing, and keeping, a suitable man.

The sexual and feminist revolution has certainly elevated us to new heights, but now that we're more equal than we were previously, it feels like we're still in the 50's with some of our notions around womanhood. We're not often presented with images of normal women as ideal and attractive, which is sad, because we're not all 5'10", 100 lbs, with perfect tits and ass. Me, I'm ok with 5'8" and a little meat on my formerly waifish bones.

Admittedly, I complain, offering no resolution.

My only hope is that at some point, the trio of girls from the diner this morning, and all little girls everywhere, manage to find some time in between sexing and texting to actually BE CHILDREN, and do the things that children do enjoying the uncomplicated time of their lives.
As my parents used to remind me, and people still remind me today at 29: you're still young, you've got plenty of time ahead of you to be a grown-up.