I don't want to know the Muffin Man ...

Further evidence of post-vacation PNG (Persona Non-Grata) Status:

This morning, the Big Boss brings in assorted muffins (approximately 5) from our local favorite Diabetic coma-inducing bakery (who shall remain nameless, and is not to be confused with a Canadian chicken restaurant chain).
Aforementioned Big Boss offers a muffin only to his next-door office mate, leaves them out in our break room / quasi kitchen, then later gives me s*#t for having one.

There are FOUR people in our otherwise empty office, only THREE of whom are in the office on a semi-regular basis.

In most office environments, no matter how Dilbert-esque they may be, standard etiquitte generally allows for the public consumption of foodstuffs left in open break / kitchen areas, unless otherwise marked:
left on counter = open territory
left in fridge = can go either way, generally not for public consumption

And here I thought I was making progress when Big Boss actually spoke to me for more than 60 seconds yesterday (topics of brief conversation: Rocket Man, Harvey Birdman, space, astronauts, and jet packs).

F@#$ the Muffin Man ...