Platinum is this girl's best friend ...

Greetings and HAPPY FRIDAY, dear readers!

Nothing but good news today, and even the petty nitpickings of my manager from hades, or the shitty mood of office mates can't damper my vibe (so far).

• Saw Jerry Seinfeld last night at NJPAC in lovely downtown Newark. GREAT show, and definitely worth the $75 ticket, $8 pain in the ass parking, and rainy drive home at 11:45PM.
• Received kudos from the sales guy on my only project ... also echoed by nitpicky manager from hades.
• Skillfully exposed duplicitous nature and intentions of nitpicky manager from hades to CEO.
• Confirmed my "professionalism" (or lack thereof) isn't what duplicitous and nitpicky manager from hades characterized.
• Logged in to AA.com this morning and found a little gem, or rather precious metal, of happiness. (thank you, DNak, beloved friend and respected professional coworker, for pointing out the spoils of the originally posted pictura ... I'll kick the s#%t out of anyone (myself included) that ever calls you "Mister 90%" again!)
  

Yes, kids ... after 9 years of membership, and endless attempts, I finally successfully completed a Platinum challenge on American Airlines.

Those of you who have known me throughout most of my career know the ridiculous business and personal travel schedule maintained over the years. Coast to coast clients and long-distance boyfriends racked up the miles in a hurry.

To some, and understandably so, this may seem petty and ridiculous. However, any business traveler based out of Dallas / Forth Worth knows the heartache of being a slave to the incumbent carrier (read: Evil Empire), in this case American. (other Evil Empires: Chicago = United, Detroit / Minneapolis = Northwest, Atlanta = Delta, Newark = Continental)

Regardless, it took a long time to get here, dammit, and petty or not, I'm ecstatic and gonna enjoy it for however long it lasts :-D

An inconvenient observation

(Apologies to my gay friends for the comparison ...I am a card-carrying international Super Hag, after all)

Can Al Gore sound any more gay?

Watching the nightly dose of "The Daily Show", and boy is he ssssuper, thanks for asssking.

"Ssseventy million tonsss of pollutantsss dumped in the air every year!"

Al Gore ... Big Gay Al?

"I am a Tulsa street model. How do I become a regular model?" or Everything I need to know in life I learned from the June 2006 issue of Esquire

Yes, while most nearly 30-something females are reading Cosmo, Lucky, Jane, and Fitness/Shape/insert annoying get-a-better-bod magazine here, I'm the gal in the Exit Row aisle seat reading Esquire, GQ, and Vanity Fair.

Is it my inner gay man?
Is it my mostly guy brain?
Or is it just that I am sick to death of "Why he really cheats on you!" or "What he really thinks about in bed!" or "10 Signs He'll Propose!"

Well, there's that, and I enjoy the articles and the pretty pictures of pretty men in pretty clothes.

There, I admit it.

(Ok, admittedly a subscriber to US Magazine too.)

So, perhaps I was totally deranged as a result of 36 hours of corporate meetings, 48 hours with my family, god knows how many hours in airports waiting for delayed flights, or 2 endless flights, but I found myself particularly inspired and educated this month by the June 2006 issue of Esquire.

Now I'm off to finish the June issue of GQ for more pretty pictures and life-lessons ala Christina Aguilera.

One week and counting ...

... from a blessed 2.5 week vacation!

The initial project plan and statement of work for my "proving ground" project is completed (said project being the troubled shit I inherited upon which my continued employment rests).

Project notes are drafted and sent to the fellow respected and totally "professional" coworkers who are kind enough to take my workload in my absence.

Should be interesting to see if I can pull off a "real vacation", as suggested by my duplicitous manager (now Vice President!), and not somehow get punished for it.

Don't get me wrong in any of these work rants ... not at all feeling victimized or anything, just truly amazed at the continued escalating petty bullshit in a 35 person company.

No, dear readers, "Office Space" doesn't just live in big bureaucracies, but little start-up privately funded ones too :-)

Tuesday Random Rant

Just for the record:

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE my job. I am calling back all the recruiters on my way home tonight, and hope I don't get pulled over for not using my Cancertooth (read: Bluetooth) headset.

This is the ONLY company I've ever worked for where the CEO and Sales VP can openly make *FART JOKES* during a company meeting, yet I get *coached* for approaching our CTO at a team dinner last week in "too friendly, not professional enough" of a manner regarding celebrating a co-worker's birthday this week.

Now, had I been sitting on this person's lap, running my fingers through their hair and shoving my tongue in their ear, saying "Hey CTO, it's Fellow Professional Services Colleague's birthday next week, and he'll be in Salt Lake City ... make sure he gets some titties in his face and a blow job, ok?" ... I could see getting coached for that *immediately*, and rightfully so.

Here's how the conversation actually went:
"Hey CTO, it's Fellow Professional Services Colleague's birthday next week, and it just so happens he'll be in Salt Lake City. Perhaps ya'll can take him to the Bayou [one of the company's favorite watering holes, although the service sucks ass] on Wednesday night and show him a good time, as I'm sure you can imagine it woud suck having to spend your birthday out of town on business and away from your family."

Guess that was just "too friendly, and not professional".

Fart jokes - 1
Birthdays - 0

On a more positive note: slid through another dental checkup, cavity free ... I miss the days of getting cool stickers for good teeth :-) Now I get a toothbrush, toothpaste, floss and a $400 night guard to grind through in my sleep (*not* covered by our stellar insurance).

Wear your love like ... acid?

Thanks, Douglasse for the distraction ...

... sadly, this Blogthing test knows me better than I knoweth myself.

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Beginnings...

And so it begins.

This is my second attempt at a blog.

The first one was slated to chronicle the trials and tribulations of relocating from my life-long home of Texas to the East Coast ... However, there really wasn't much to tell since:
A) I don't spend much time in the new digs on the East Coast
and
B) when I am there, I don't do a whole hell of a lot ... I'm a bit of a hermit these days.

Today finds me in a personal and professional Limbo or Purgatory, hence the references to the Dark Wood and the River Acheron in Dante's Inferno ...
Me: disoriented spiritually, physically, psychologically, morally, politically ...
My Life: chaotic, unformed matter, essentially a type of primordial wood ...
My Card: American Express :-)
(kidding ...)


Me:
I went about things a little backwards, as is my usual life M.O. While friends were away in academia-land pursuing their degrees that hopefully answer the question "What do I wanna be when I grow up?", I left college, landed a random gig as an admin in the telecom industry, then subsequently managed to fall into a series of sales, marketing, and eventually project management gigs in the telecom / contact center industry, selling and mortgaging my soul along the way.

Player's Career Stats:
29 years old
College drop out
Still a declared English Lit major at Richland College (Go Fighting Thunderducks!)
11 years in the industry
5 companies
Quadrupled salary
Landed, and subsequently gave up a VP title

Not bad, eh?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining ...

So, with all of that, why this sense of chaotic disoriented?

My life at the moment:
For the first time EVER in my career, I have accomplished nothing. I stepped into a role where I was finding my legs, in a company still trying to find its legs (Start-up, venture-capital funded, "bleeding-edge" "nice-to-have" software functionally targeted to the red-headed stepchild Training organization in contact centers ... need I say more? It's pretty f-ing volatile.)

In my opinion, we failed each other, and still are. And like a failing marriage, we find ourselves in Limbo together, each trying to figure out if we want to pursue this relationship long-term or not.

Add to that, an ever-encroaching "0"-ending birthday, and the life re-assessment that comes with it:
Who am I?
What the F do I want to do with the rest of my life?

Friends, family, colleagues, random strangers all say "You're so young, you have plenty of time!"

Do I really, though?

Then again, if my flight home tomorrow crashes, does it even matter?

Hence, Limbo ... Hence, Purgatory, hence, the Dark Wood that is my life at the moment.

So is this blog a self-absorbed neurotic observation / rant / whine about my life and the world in general?
Likely.
Do I really care?
No.

Here's hoping the irascible Charon accepts my pleas for safe navigation across the River Acheron into the lower world.

And so it goes ...